it's always about God's righteousness...

my bro walked into the room last nite after i finished typing my prev entry, mentionin how blessed i am wif all the finances....so he handed me this nicely wrapped gift n said sumone asked him to pass it to me w/o mentionin who it was...feelin puzzled n elated, i went to my room n opened it up...

...it's a LG handphone S5000 accompanied wif a bluetooth earpiece....

OMG! it's sumthin i asked God for n i never mentioned to anyone abt it...except according to dear sis shar...pple do notice tt my existin nokia7250 hp is OLD...

haha...okie...n i gt screwed by my dear bro for not reading the manual on operatin the bluetooth thingy...mus understand tt i cant really be bothered leh...to me, a phone can tok n sms pple can alreadi n vice versa...haha...

still mus thank whoever blessed me wif the hp lah...hope u r readin this...realli THANK YOU! i know i mus still thank my Father but He blessed me thru YOU so...yup...arigato gozaimasu..

blessings after blessings...how not to get spoilt..but after all these, i realised this is really GRACE...truly undeserved, unmerited...n i cant measure His love simply by these...

my fren complained to me tt this is unfair cos she jus lost ur hp n bought a new one...i agree..Jesus died on the cross n i reap the benefits...n i did NOTHIN... oh man...

n there is sumthin more impt i want to share...frm sumbody else's blog...realli great...made me see sumthin which slipped out of my own heart...

http://jerrome.multiply.com/journal/item/115

guys..pls read it...

familarity...it affects the way i have been "seeing" fellow brothers/sisters and steals my consciousness of God's righteousness in all of us...

pple always tink it's good n bonds frens closer together but it fails to bring out the light...Jesus...

...there is a difference between familarity n closeness...

tt's why we always need Him n He's always in us...

Lord, let this be my prayer tonight...to not only have a greater revelation of Your love for me but also the meaning of this love thru Christ on the cross, makin us righteous thru His finished work and His blood. tt indeed, we are the royal priesthood and we are always right before Your eyes. tt we may come boldly before You. Father, cause me to see the Christ in all of us and let this knowledge drop into my heart n always stick wif me. amen.

oh well...praise Jesus! haha..

..i tink if i were to confess all my sins...i got no more time to do other things...

my fav pastime: sit down @ kopitiam and watch the 'scenery' as they proceed into the rock audi for services...hehe...

rating: *****

heart 2 heart

spent the whole afternoon at SGH doin urology scan today...in case u still dunno...i gt into a traffic accident n the doc wanted to make sure my kidneys n stomach are intact...hence the scan..

woke up early in the mornin to do collect my reimbursement for the medical fees from AIG...america insurance company...the funny thing is my dad dun rem signin up the insurance for me...aniwaes..praise God..they gave me $500, which is more thn enuff for my medical checkups n the leftover can be used for my bangkok trip..haha...

was jus tellin Daddy on sunday tt after i tithe, like nt enuff left for myself alreadi..n summore the tithe like can buy more things liddat..hehe...but still trusted half heartedly n put the envelope into the offering box...hehe...amazingly, the next moment you tyng (my video director cum rock productions exec officer) sms me n said she gt 2 part time jobs for me the comin mth...
n as u know, our church pays well...praise God...so tt's another blessing lah...means more $$$ for bangkok...hehe...

so as u can see...kenna bless left right centre...n haben include the progressive thingy from government...haha...$900...haha...woohoo...

jus see God's goodness happenin in my life right now...although the accident looks fatal in the natural but Jesus has turned it arun for good..not to mention tt it gave me a valid excuse to refuse a job which i dun like, to escape the grad show which i find a fuss, n most imptly...downgrade! hehe...this one nt confirmed yet...haha...

but seriously...learnin to trust Him more n more esp in terms of finance...n i see doors openin one after another...it's like wat Ps Chin mentioned...although this year is acceleration but i find my heart slowin down..nt stoppin..but havin a lot more peace than before...really relac one corner n see Him do all the work...learnin to unlearn n relearn again...learnin to nt lean so much on my knowledge..n i see this period as a time for me to rest for the so much tt i am gg to do soon...yup..amen...

had a wonderful time at server's dinner held at suntec olio dome...saw how my cgl jon spent his ah beng days dancin...haha...

hmm..caught sumthin jus now...wun consider it a revelation but it's still worth mentionin...rem spendin time wif a sis over lunch at NUS mac, n we will sharin on how gals actually dun really need guys to provide solns, but rather they need guys to just listen...

so i was thinkin of a fellow bro who always think....haha...n he thinks a lot...but no use...he dunno how to listen...HAHA...ok pls dun feel condemned...joke joke...

aniwaes..i believe when sumone share sumthin wif u rite...no matter whether u r leader or wateva i dun care...he/she doesnt really want u to go n correct him/her, amen? i would consider tt if sumone is sharin, it's from the heart (...duh...), n i wun wan to set tt person straight by correctin the mind...cos it's the heart wif the problem..

hmm..e.g. lah...i say sumthin like, "God is good to me...Jesus is enough for me..."

u dun say, " no..no..Jesus is MORE than enuff for you dear..."

i mean it doesnt help the poor fellow...here is the person tryin to absorb his/her own revelation of God's love n u (being the nice fella) try to imput sum sense of 'holiness' ...

sumthin like, " wow..wat happened? tell me abt it..." sounds so much inviting n encouragin. it makes the person know tt u r interested to find out n LISTEN...rather than ur stupid no cent worth comment...

do i make sense to u? hope u understd wat i tokkin abt...it's the whole "professional' n 'real" paradoxial issue....i tink it works the same way for gals lah...haha

ok pls guys...dun come n kill me...enjoy the walk...

be like the swan above the water....nt the duck beneath it...

oh ya...one more thing...there's tis dessert stall at hougang ave 7, blk 11 market...the chinese desserts quite nice...can give it a try...hehe...

i dun want another emo blog...

who's bleah n woo?.. haha...thnks for the encouragement...

have been thinkin abt wat my fren told me the other day...abt myself..being cold n heartless..nt sure if i'm still liddat although i do still see myself being unforgiving towards the wrong tt others do to me...well...will try to change tt by the grace of God...

rem sumone once prayed over me at my hse void deck...which was abt 3 yrs ago when i was still recovering frm a setback in life..he mentioned tt God is waiting to pour blessings unto me jus tt i'm holding back sumthin frm Him...sumthin which i cant let go...sumthin which until today i'm still tryin to figure out...

it's not tt my dear Father doesnt want to bless me...He has tons n tons of blessings for me...

it's the guilt n condemnation tt blocks the pipe of blessings from flowin into my life...

eventually, over the last few yrs...i've seen myself letting go...it wasnt smooth sailing but as the Word goes forth, i see the grace n mercy upon my life...

jus know tt Jesus is in control...grace is slow...haha...wat a patient needs to do is to be patient...

haha..seriously, i dun see myself being so emo anymore...at least i dun listen to jay chou n cry..haha...hopefully it's not abt me being heartless n cold...

constantly believe Christ in me, all things will work for good for those who LOVE Him..

i dun wan another emo, heartless, cold derek but a emotionally strong, encouraging and full of life Jedidiah...

Christ in me, the Hope of Glory...i am forever His beloved...

dun judge who i am according to who i was...

phew...wat an emotionally challenging nite yesterday....kenna interrogated by my fren abt my past...

had a hard time waking up today...slept at 5am..woke up at eleven by my mama...

n for the entire day, i felt i am challenged on my right standin...

discussed wif dear bro loo abt righteousness...do we still have to bear the natural consequences to our past mistakes despite Christ havin taken our sin on the cross?

cheem...for me personally speakin, i feel there is indeed a place for punishment since we r in the flesh n r still in this world where law still applies to every single soul. but it is the inside peace tt comforts us when we do wrong...yet we cannot escape from the worldly punishment..i'm not even tokkin abt great misdeeds like murder, rape, etc...i sayin of things such as a failed relationship,etc...

my more specific qn is whether i need to confess to my future wife abt my past childish mistakes n hope for her forgiveness...or whether i shld jus keep mum n let her find out by herself...haha...at this pt, all the gals would prob go, ' wahlau, of cos mus say lah!'.....

there is indeed a place for honesty, integrity..blah blah...

thn again, bro loo was sayin tt Christ takes all the shit and we shldnt be bothered abt the consequences cos Christ on the cross took them as well...which makes me more confused...

thn again, that doesnt give u an excuse to sin more...

so to answer the initial qn...i guess it's still the peace that leads n comforts us...

anyone gt bible verses or a logical answer to all these? pls feel free to post ur comments or simply leave a tag...

try to understand that i am not lookin for principles or theologies or doctrines..but rather a satisfyin rationale to heal my heart...

thnks!

walk in love

...so weird...

...first... pple are curious...so they ask:

wat happened? how did it happen?
why u never see the car?
How are u now?

...nobody bothered to ask wat did Jesus do? or how He turned the situation around?...

....the weirdest qn i received :

why did u laugh after u fell?

huh?!? how u expect me to answer that? i din laugh. i merely smiled at the driver.

haiz...the power of the tongue. (gossip) not tongues. (Holy Spirit)

so i wrote a testimony to end the queries...

some felt heartwarmed and encouraged. they gave some form of encouragement...

others treated it like miracles happen all the time...ok..maybe for our church...

the rest cant be bothered....

THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF ME WRITING A TESTIMONIAL???

wah piang...i think miracles happen so often that our people take it for granted alreadi loh...ladies and gentlemen...tt incident was a matter of life and death...mind ya...

aniwaes...the objective of a testimony...is to testify God's hands upon that event...to show how He intervened..to show His love...

IT WAS NEVER ABOUT ME....how in the world would i plan for a stupid hyundai getz to bang me..how would i know that stupid car will come out frm nowhere...why would i want to challenge the stupid traffic...

wahlau...angry siah...

indeed this is a trial. not only a supernatural one. it is a trial of my PATIENCE N TOLERANCE towards ignorance...HAHA...

aiyah...my only hope is tt at the end of the day, pple actually do see His love and tt He is always in control loh..

cant be bothered alreadi lah...my injuries are healing ultra fast man..played soccer..n NETBALL..hehe...at NUS last evening...great fun...met a few new 'frens'...might consider gg back again nex week to find dear mayi (ant)....haha...

miss my buddy...hopes he gets over his mid 20s crisis soon...

after wat ps chin shared this evenin, i cant help but believe tt sumthin GREAT is approachin, and it's comin REALLY FAST...

indeed..acceleration = speed/time = distance/time/time = distance/time2....haha...

be blessed lah...if u r angry after readin this...no apologies cos..

THIS IS MY BLOG!!! HAHHAHA!!!!

I LOVE JESUS! I CAN BE WHO I AM!

close encounter of the heavenly kind

okie..guess all of u shld know by now...my neck's v stiff while i'm typing this..haiz...hehe..

gt knocked down by a hyundai GETZ while crossing the main 4-lane road between marina n esplanade yesterday evenin. hehe...yesh..i din use the traffic light...yesh...i jay walked...hehe..

JAY walked = walking like Jay chou....HAHAAHAHA...SO LAME....

according to eye witness - a malay nurse who was waiting for her bus at the bus stop - which was my objective at the other end of the road...i SOMERSAULTED when i gt hit..to be v honest, i cant remember anything..to really show u wat happened, i mus DRAW a diagram...haha...

anyways..wat was amazin is tt when i "flew" in the air, i felt "sumthin" softened my landing...i landed in a half sittin position - a postion between sittin up n lyin face flat on the floor whereby the latter position would have scathed my beautiful complexion...haha...ya...which was quite impossible (the position which i landed) respective to the impact of the collision. furthermore, i was conscious even after i landed. i could hear pple screamin while i was 'flyin'...haha...

the malay nurse rushed over from the bus stop n asked if i was okie..the driver came over too n i could see the fear on his face...i jus smiled n say i'm pretty ok..tried to push myself up...felt the excruciatin pain on my back...they wanted to carry me to the side but thnk God the nurse stopped them n the next rational thing she did was to call the ambulance...

due to the heavy traffic jam, the ambulance took 10-20 mins to arrive. they asked where i can feel pain..told them abt my back...put me on the stretcher n i was in SGH A&E in no time...

in one night, i saw fear in all its hideous appearances...the suicidal china gal who cut her wrist, the old man who grumbled abt his cheating wife, the indian drunkard,etc...for once, i can really identify myself as my Daddy's son...for once, i can relate to the pple of the world..not relating to their similarities but our differences..the peace i had n still have inside of me....ha..

the doc took a look at my back, gave me an injection on my butt, took sum urine sample, made me stay overnight for further observation..

yup, so i'm back this mornin. struggling to sit up n down n walk arun...hehe...

praise God...i saw wah Lau make His angels worked overtime for me...

lalala....

it seems tt i mus say sumthin otherwise v quiet. not tt i'm afraid of silence but i realised my mind is v talkative...my internship boss once made a crude remark...he commented to my lecturer tt i'm a mental masturbater....hmm..does tt sound vulgar to u?

i thnk pastor did a good explanation on the high priest's garments. i begin to not only see Jesus representing us, but also us in Him. if u r wondering wat i do standing on the platform behind the video camera, i do listen to pastor. although i still have to fix my eyes on his movements n listen to the director shouting thru the headphones. so pls be surprised that DereK sun can multi-tasked when necessary...hahaha...seriously, the most challenging task tt i faced while servin, is to hold back my tears when pastor share sumtin touchin. camera operators are supposed to be heartless in a way, cos we need to focus on wat is gg on stage mah, not allowed to be carried away lah, must be professional...clapclapclap...i got complained once by sumone in the audience abt me takin out my hp n replyin to an sms...so DUH...if tt person gt time to pay attention to me, he or she shld be listenin to pastor loh...so boliao..haha..anyway i made my apologies to my leader alreadi lah...hehe..mus submit mah..haha...

actually i wan to tok abt the breastplate, cos the brightness from the gems was irritatin my eyes while i'm servin today. u noticed how the gems refer to the 12 tribes, n tt they reflect Light from God, u see tt each have their own unique characteristics, jus like each one of us. i want to draw ur attention to the layout of the gems....they are facing God. jus like the bread, pastor believe they are lyin flat, NOT on top of one another. my point is ===> God not only want to see all of us, He sees us all equal in His sight, He is no respector of person, He LOVES ALL OF US EQUALLY N ABUNDANTLY. n furthermore, when we actually face God, as compared to fixing our eyes on Him, we dun really get to look at one another. we dun envy wat others have tt we dun have, we dun compare against ourselves and we dun find fault with each other naturally...isnt tt beautiful? hmm...

really love servin although can be quite tiring at times. it's only when i receive then can i give. but then again, when i give, i actually receive frm my Daddy (wah Lau in hokkien), both naturally n supernaturally. i dunno how to lose in such a win win situation. who can tell me i'll be doin wat i'm doin now four yrs ago...haha..He is indeed marvellous. i can never go ahead of wah Lau...He has already planned for me...plans for me to prosper...

nt v excited abt the interview tmw but i feel like occupying myself wif a job for the time being, although i would really love to further studies in Japan or Israel. haha..tel aviv photography college...go there kenna shot by palestinians..hahaha.....

Love u Jesus!

the 2 trees

hmm..

took a cab to jon's place for cg jus now. gt to tok to the driver who used to be a plumber. thn we discussed abt how a lot of cab drivers nowadays are actually retrenched white collared workers, meaning they were actually workin in the office lah. ( in case u dunno.)

he mentioned tt his fren was actually earnin a monthly income of $7000 as a financial advisor, meaning he worked in a bank, n decided to quit cos he couldnt take the stress loh. anyway, he said tt his fren sucked as a cabby as well, cos the fren din like to take the customers' instructions for directions..duh..where got this type of cabby one..

yah..so it all boiled down to his ego lah.

anyway, my point is wat i saw at tt point was tt the world is indeed getting darker, havin met these pple wif all their life threatenin situations yet me being in church is like so safe n secured wif Jesus in my heart n everythin. so much so tt i am so nonchalant to the news tt have been happening so far... like the old man shootin the nite club boss...wateva...u get wat i mean lah..

i was sharin wif cg mates abt john 9. abt how Jesus put clay on the blind man's eyes to make him lagi blind...haha..thn wash in the pool of siloam which means sent. so similarly how sent is referred to Holy Spirit loh..thn if u turn to matt 6:22 onwards, which is the chapter tt God has impressed upon me, u see tt eyes is the lamp of the body. so i believe tt if u cross reference most of the verses in john 9, which oso toks abt the prophet's reward, u will see tt speakin in tongues not only cause ur eyes to see good, which is like visualising, but oso cause ur body to shine. n tt is wat i believe like how we are like lights of the world which attract pple of the world to the Light of the world Jesus. amen!

yup, n if u can still be bothered to read on in matthew 6:23, u see that it mentions abt the darkness n everythin which sounded quite negative to me, God drew my attention to Genesis whereby He din focus on the darkness but rather He SPOKE, Light be, n light is still shining n expanding the boundaries of outer space today. similarly, i hope u see that no matter how bad or dark ur situation is, choose to speak GOOD over and above all these natural circumstances. it's being conscious of the right tree, the tree of Life. and when u see/visualise the good, speak it out! amen! and claim it. dunno wat to say, start prayin in tongues which will cause ur eyes to see good. when u see the good, speak it out again n claim it.

all in all, pray in tongues. the Holy Spirit only wants ur tongue, which is the bridle to ur life. so does the devil. wat u say holds the key to wat u already have, the abundant blessings of God in ur life. amen!

phew...cant believe i shared all these again. gt time can read john 9. v interestin...haha...

note for the day: increase in wisdom, seeing Jesus in old n new testament,hearing heart, khaira in findin job.

my first post in my second blog...duhz..

ok..hello...ahem...

wat am i supposed to say?

well..erm...felt intriqued by others' blogs so decided to blog again...

so lame...watever...

heh..hope to share not only about my life (which can be v borin now) but most imptly, REVELATIONS upon REVELATIONS! haha...

so enjoy lah since u are here already...hehe...kenna alreadi thn jus read on lah...my england nt tt bad wat...

erm...can sumone teach me how to do those nice taggies n put my personal info for show...haha...

oh ya.. i want to show photos leh..

wah...so exciting...new blog...so lame rite...