when siansation sets in...

hmmm....

dunno where to start...

i have been staring at this computer screen for the past 3-4 weeks. msn chattin, checkin emails, readin pple's blog, searchin for jobs...

occasionally the low morale, emotional high, siansation sets in and my mind starts to wander wonder. how now brown cow?

the usual encouragement would be to relac, enjoy, do the stuff tt i dun get to do if i'm workin....

but i cant...haha...

"jus believe, derek, jus believe..."

"....listen to sermons lo..."

...i know...

attended a funeral last week and it made me tink abt life...again...

so wat if i find the dream job of my life? so wat if i get the salary i want?

will i be satisfied at the end of the day?

not tryin to sound religious or pious or holy or anythin...

but seriously...i've been tinkin abt my prev wretched life durin my MIA years frm church n i cant imagine how God would even care abt sumone who wanted to end his life at the point of time...

n i told myself...if He cared at tt point of time, wat makes me tink tt He doesnt care NOW???

woah...

hmm...which makes me want to share sumthin frm a sermon i heard recently la...

matt 18
at that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying,"who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them,

and said,"assuredly i say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.

"therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

HMMM...INTERESTIN...WHY Jesus use the child to illustrate? haha...

it's quite simple lah..actualli can figure out urself...hehe..

otherwise u hang arun children's church on sunday n observe lo...haha...

this story makes me understand the meanin of childlike faith...meaning a child doesnt worry...

a child doesnt worry abt his nex meal..his new clothes...his new toys...

COS he or she knows...ABBA WILL PROVIDE...

alas...Father, lemme worry not...haiz..

was viewing the video abt team hoyt...and i'm jus so amazed at the father's love, courage and physical strength...

yup..my Father can definitely do better than that! amen!

so...i cant deny tt i made a mistake by quittin my job and things haven been gg too well for me...

jus gt to believe lo...

SIT DOWN

had a terrible nightmare n woke up feelin super lousy today. i reasoned the horrendous incident to the worries n concerns tt have been weighin on me these past few wks.

muahahaha...can laugh abt it la...

listin down all these concerns, nothin will change. i will jus continue to wallow in self pity.

TT'S WHY TODAY'S MSG IS SO IMPT...

if i cant believe i'm still righteous rite...siao liao...things will jus go on n nothin good will happen...

actually i shldnt even be listin down all my problems..i'm jus addin weight to them..BUT I WANT TO SHOW MYSELF THAT JESUS HAS SETTLED ALL OF THEM!!!
when i look back at this article a few yrs down the road, i know i'll jus laugh at my lack of faith...

let not my heart be troubled...

have been listeinin to a lot of sermons, but nothin seems to be happenin in the natural. hmm...jus wanna believe n believe n believe...

it's actually quite difficult judging by the circumstances...tt's why they always say ONLY BELIEVE...we keep hearin this being preached n i go, "wahlau! everyday jus believe believe...siaolian aye...nothin happenin leh..." thn i start to curse n swear on the soccer pitch...hahaha...wat to do...

romans 8:6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to the spiritually minded is life and peace.

"Jesus, how to be spiritual? how? how?..."

rmns 8:15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear...

when u cannot handle ur @#$%^&*! problems alreadi rite...u can cry out, "Abba, Father."

:18 the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed IN us.

if u put princess diana n mother teresa together rite...who r u attracted to more?

tink it would be mother teresa. but why? i tot diana more chio wat..?

GLORY. mother teresa has the glory. the real thing.

if u know tt u are made in the image of God rite, i tink even my hair oso nvm alreadi...hehe...seriously, it doesnt matter alreadi..

lookin unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

u know in the book of Esther rite...gt mention abt queens, concubines n virgins.
there are a lot of virgins, quite a number of concubines but onli a FEW queens. i want to be one of the few queen, nt literally. cos queens share the most intimate relationship wif the King.

so who's the King in ur life today?

Father, jus continue to love me n show me ur wonderful love each day...

yesh...n as Jon has mentioned, each of our name does matter...

derek = the way
jedidiah = beloved

i want to lavish in the love of my heavenly Father n i want to show others tt they can do the same too.

only one thing is needful.

God is Love.

happie birthday Singapore!

hmm..my auntie's 41 yrs old as well..

took the afternoon yesterday to visit the national stadium for the lasssssttt time. saw all the nsfs handing the big boxes of goodie bags, props, etc...n i can tell u the weather was so hottttttttt!!!! reminded me of my chiong suan days in lim chu kang n felt so grateful tt i'm finally out of this nonsense of listenin to sum lowly educated idiotic enciks...

dunno how to thank Singapore...thnk Spore for making me suffer for 2 yrs? 2 half to be exact...plus all the extra duties..wahlau...!@#$%^&*...

*ahem*..mus control myself..erm..

yup..actualli brought my camera n 3 lenses to take a few black n white shots of the stadium..it's kinda like my way of spendin time wif wah Lau (my Father)...yup..cos i'm not sumone who express myself in words but actions..

so gals..forget abt me sweet talkin u..muahaha...

at the same time, completed my book on the journey to kallang mrt...expected the ending (refering to the book) and din realli feel sad abt it...i mean life n death situations are part of life itself isnt it? it's the process mah...it's always the process...

hmm...God is the Alpha n the Omega...beginning n the end...so basically He knows everything...He has everything under control...problem is..do u let Him control? or r u another adam sandler tryin to find the remote control to life?

click here click there..n u realise still so 'suay'...walk under tree oso kenna bird s*** tt kind..muahaha..

honestly feelin quite concerned now...cos the new boss haven get back to me...if by the end of this mth still no reply frm him...i'm kinda dead lah..have to start frm square one again lo..hmmm..

JESUS!!! HELP ME!!

there's realli nothin i can do la...there's ALWAYS NOTHING i can do to solve my problem...i realised the more i try to look here look there, the more i cant find..everytime 'hit the wall"....

so...if u r gg thru sumthin like me...gt no advice for u lah...

LET GO LET GOD!

phew....

haha...welcome to my new blogskin...

okie..

sorrie if it doesnt appeal to you...

i'm still tryin to figure out the color codes...

received sum farney comments abt the gal runnin arun wif the kite...

actualli...tt's my bride to be...hahaha..

joke joke...


aniwaes...hope u guys have a more pleasing time reading the small texts. i've alreadi set it to 12px. it's arial. and it's in skyblue. so...do enjoy...

the main reason i chose this blogskin is cos of the TREE. yesh...cos trees represent us in a lot of ways and i guess it reminds me of who i am and wat i am supposed to do everyday ----> give thanks to the Father. My Abba.

haha...enuff of the crap..

erm..basically i'm takin a mth break before i set off to start a new job..tt's why i gt so MUCH time to change this blog...although i wont say tt i did a gd job wif it...

special thnks to my dear sister Sharmaine...for takin time out of beauty sleep to do this..thnks a lot!!!

yup...so i'm jus bummin arun at the moment...watchin lotsa movies, korean dramas...readin "tuesdays wif morrie" - definitely a gd read if u gt nothin else to do. it actually toks abt LOVE....lotsa LOVEEEEEE....HAHA...and i LOVE it..cos it made me cry on the public bus....muahaha..not many things can make me cry nowadays...yes, i get bitter over sum stuff now n thn..but nt cry...

yesh...fyi...guys do cry...it's actualli brave for a guy to cry...nt for stupid reasons obviously but for loveeee...muahaha...sweet loveee....hahaha...

i startin to tok nonsense alreadi...as usual...pls ignore me if u find me irritatin...haha..wateva..

hope to see more revelations soon...

thnks..